In the name of Allah; the entirely merciful; the especially merciful - بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَـٰنِ الرَّحِيمِ

Sunday, 29 July 2007

Standing Frame Broke.

Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim
Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu

M is three now. She needs standing frame to help her standing. Read about her standing frame here.


I am holding M standing.

Alhamdulillah, one month ago her standing frame broke. I have to hold her standing because she can't standing by herself without support. But I can't do it for hours. She is quite heavy. It will hurt my back. I am hoping that we will get a new standing frame for M soon so she will not forget how to stand. When she is not in a standing position she likes bending her knees. I am worried her knee bones will deform because she kept bending. She would also crossed her legs which could incresed the chance of hips dislocated. With the standing frame, her legs can be straight and apart with the straps.


This is how she cross her legs.



Her knees are bending like that most of the time.



She bends them when she is awake while laying down.



And she even bending her knees when she is asleep


Insha Allah, meanwhile I will continue holding her even my back will get hurt for the sake of helping her legs straight.

Train kills wheelchair user at Perth station

Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim
Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu

ABC News

Posted Sat Jul 28, 2007 8:08pm AEST

A man in a wheelchair has been killed after being struck by a train in Perth.

Police say the man was hit by a train at the Carlisle train station this evening.

It is believed he was trying to cross the tracks at the station.

Three months ago, a woman with cerebral palsy who was confined to a wheelchair was killed after she was hit by a train at the same station.

She had fallen onto the tracks after her wheelchair became stuck and her carer was unable to pull her to safety in time.

Tags: disasters-and-accidents, accidents, rail-accidents, emergency-incidents, disabilities, carlisle-6101

Friday, 27 July 2007

Hand Made Natural Soap

Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim
Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu



My passion is making soaps. I am into natural soap after I realised that most commercial soaps made my skin dryer, itchy and red. The fragrance in it also trigger me a headache. When I stopped using the soaps that was manufactured commercially, my skin is moisture and I am hardly get headache, Alhamdulillah.

I made the soaps from scratch using palm, coconut and olive oil. It is a cold process soap made by mixing the fatty acids (oils) with sodium hydroxide (lye water), to form a chemical reaction called 'saponification'. It is actually the oil and lye water mix and become soap. This process will take 6 weeks to complete.

I used the coconut oil because it has a great lathering properties. The olive oil is mild with its gentle qualities and very moisturising. I added essential oils to create pleasant smell to the soaps and great for problem skin because of its healing benefits.

I enjoy making soaps. I love using homemade soaps because they have a great lather, mild but yet it is moisturising.

Now my husband likes making soaps too.

Wednesday, 25 July 2007

Archery

Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim
Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu

During school holiday our family were doing archery as part of our home education program. It is a great family sport. It benefits us as it teaches us to focus, concentration and goal setting skills. We can also reinforced basic math skills during scoring in archery.

In Islam archery is encouraged because the Prophet is reported to have said: “Teach your children swimming, archery and horse-riding.” Archery was also popular among early Muslims by the following hadith. `Uqbah also said, "I heard Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) saying, 'Allah will cause three persons to enter Paradise for one arrow: the maker when he has a good intention in making it, the one who shoots it, and the one who hands it. So shoot and ride, but your shooting is dearer to me than your riding. If anyone abandons archery after becoming an adept because of his distaste for it, it is a blessing he has abandoned; (or he said: for which he has been ungrateful)'" (Abu Dawud, An-Nasa'i, and Al-Hakim).


K aiming the target.


H shooting the arrow.


Archery is not about winning or losing but it is about enjoying the game. Insha Allah, we are planning to do it as our family monthly activity.

Support for siblings of special needs kids

Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim
Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu

ABC News

By Mike Sexton

Posted Tue Jul 24, 2007 8:06am AEST
Kate Strohm formed Siblings Australia to help children deal with having a sibling with special needs.

Kate Strohm formed Siblings Australia to help children deal with having a sibling with special needs. (The 7:30 Report)

About 300,000 Australian families have a child with special needs, and while there has been much debate over the resources available to help those families and the child to cope, there is another aspect that receives virtually no attention.

It is the so-called 'normal children', whose childhood is often complicated by the challenges of having a handicapped brother or sister. Often the needs of their sibling leave them frustrated and even envious, and in some cases, angry, anxious and depressed.

But one woman who has lived through such a childhood has formed Siblings Australia to help children deal with difficult circumstances.

Spending Saturday morning at a suburban Adelaide swimming pool is the highlight of William Bradford's week.

He is severely autistic, and for his father and full-time carer Terry Bradford, this is one of the few opportunities to enjoy some time with both of his children.

"It's a matter of letting him in the water and he will splash for an hour at a time," Terry Bradford said.

At the other end of the pool, 16-year-old Elizabeth Bradford is teaching the next generation of swimmers.

Originally she was not that keen on going to the pool, but because her parents wanted her brother to exercise, she had to adapt.

"I was dragged along kicking and screaming. It's good now, because I'm now a swimming instructor and it's income for me," he said.

Elizabeth Bradford has only ever known life with a brother whose handicap has earned him the family nickname, 'Captain Chaos'. Their mother Fiona explains the nickname.

"If you left him alone for any period of time you'd have every book in the house thrown on the floor and torn, milk everywhere, water everywhere, it'd be dramatic," she said.

For Elizabeth Bradford, just finding a quiet place to do schoolwork can be difficult in a house where her brother needs constant supervision. She has grown up watching the toll caring for her brother has taken on her parents.

"Because of my brother, they've got a very sheltered life," she said.

"We're very independent, we never see anyone. Sorry, I sound very emotional. But ... because of him, we don't go out as a family."

The Bradfords are typical of families across the country caring for a child with special needs.

While there are services available for those children, there are virtually none for the so-called 'other child', the ones without special needs but who are often struggling to cope in a home where parents do not have enough time or energy for them.

Siblings Australia founder Kate Strohm says the siblings have a hard time too.

"They look okay, they walk, talk, and it's very easy for people to think, well, why do they need support? But they don't understand the emotional effects of that," she said.

For Elizabeth Bradford, the emotional effects became too much during her primary school years when she was bullied, which led to depression and tantrums.

"One of the year fours, when I was in year five, said to me, 'Your brother's retarded and therefore you are retarded,'" she said.

Her father Terry says the bullying was painful for Elizabeth.

"It really destroyed her and I was down that school all the time," he said.

With their daughter's behaviour deteriorating, the Bradfords sought help from Ms Strohm, who runs the only organisation specialising in such work.

Her own childhood closely resembled Elizabeth Bradford's, as her sister has cerebral palsy and needed full-time care from her parents.

"I remember going to parties and she'd be at home crying because she couldn't go," she said.

"So it's very hard to enjoy, in many ways, your own successes and abilities. I also felt resentful of the attention that she got but then felt guilty about that."

Support group

After writing a memoir about her childhood, Ms Strohm has found she is being sought out by people with similar stories, asking for help. Eventually she formed Siblings Australia as a support group for kids.

Elizabeth Bradford was glad to meet someone who understood her situation so well.

"Meeting Kate was, 'Oh my God, there's someone that's normal who's had the same things as me,'" she said.

"I could say to her, 'It's so annoying, he's done this, this, and this', and she'll go, 'My sister did this, this and this.' I have something to relate to."

In addition to lending a sympathetic ear, Ms Strohm advocates for services on behalf of families and teaches parents how to care for all their children.

"You can see the lightbulbs go off and the things I'm talking about are simple," she said.

"Parents are often so overwhelmed by what they need to do. Whereas they often go away quite relieved that the sorts of things we discuss are fairly simple."

Fiona Bradford welcomed the advice.

"Kate actually put me straight, because I'd so much cherished having, if you like, a normal child," she said.

She says she wanted Elizabeth to have everything.

"Kate actually got me to realise that I had to accept that Elizabeth had to be more like her peers than perhaps I'd like," she said.

Ms Strohm's work is in such demand she has made regular trips overseas. Her dream is to expand in Australia.

"We need to realise that if we give those kids support, not only does it help that child, but it also helps the child with special needs," she said.

Funding shortage

Carers Australia president Ben Chodziesner says he believes Siblings Australia, like many other programs, deserves more money.

"I think anything which addresses the family situation and makes that easier to cope with is clearly worthwhile," he said.

But he says at the moment, the need for carers is increasing much faster than the funding for it.

"There's never enough. There's a long list of programs and activities that we consider worthwhile and I guess everybody has to prioritise those and determine what's most important," he said.

For families like the Bradfords, the final challenge for their normal child is to care for the handicapped sibling when their parents can no longer manage it.

The Bradfords have begun preparing for that time, but are equally determined their daughter enjoy a full life.

"I would just like her to do whatever she wants to do as well as she can," Terry Bradford said.

"A life that she can be happy with."

Tuesday, 24 July 2007

Home Education First Day of Term 3

Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim
Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu

We are starting our home education today. I was very happy because the girls know what they have to do. They were doing their works in the kitchen. I was busy washing the dishes and preparing our lunch. A few times K called me because she needed help. H was trying to help her also. I thought starting new term will mean struggles. After 2 weeks holiday they have to learn all the routines back. But Alhamdulillah I was wrong. They just went back automatically.

K could not find her Science workbook. Last term her Mental Math was missing. I suggested her to do Science experiment from 101 Easy Science Experiments. I was so glad that she asked for some advise from me before she did all by herself. She was doing it extremely well. T was busy following her everywhere. I guess she likes to do what K was doing.

When K finished her works K taught T using computer and doing computer learning activities. They were doing Arabic first and pre-school game. After that they play game.

Before lunch time the girls has finished their works. We pray together as usual. They have the whole afternoon to do what ever they like to do, Alhamdulillah. H was reading a book before doing posting for her blog. K was also busy editing her piczo and play computer games.

Sunday, 22 July 2007

M... Special Needs Progress

Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim
Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu

I notice that M spasm getting worst. She makes a lot of involuntarily movement. I think her botox wear off. She is due for her next injection on August. Last night she did not sleep at all. Her legs kept stiffing. She crossed her legs like scissors. She was not comfortable at all. She was crying and very tired. Her legs was shaking quite regular. On a sudden she would stop for awhile but soon after that she will start stiffing, spasm plus crying and everything.

Alhamdulillah 'ala kulli hal.

I ask Allah to grant me patience. Aameen.

Narrated 'Ata bin Abi Rabah: Ibn 'Abbas said to me, "Shall I show you a woman of the people of Paradise?" I said, "Yes." He said, "This black lady came to the Prophet and said, 'I get attacks of epilepsy and my body becomes uncovered; please invoke Allah for me.' The Prophet said (to her), 'If you wish, be patient and you will have (enter) Paradise; and if you wish, I will invoke Allah to cure you.' She said, 'I will remain patient,' and added, 'but I become uncovered, so please invoke Allah for me that I may not become uncovered.' So he invoked Allah for her." (Book #70, Hadith #555)

Friday, 20 July 2007

Muslim Girl with Cerebral Palsy Photos

Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim
Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu



This is M recent photo at three at home with her big smile. When we found out the she was diagnosed with cerebral palsy I was worried that she could not smile. Alhamdulillah, she smile when she was about two. Insha Allah if she could smile, there will be more possibilities that Allah will make for her.



When she was around two years, taken at botanical garden. Alhamdulillah, although she can't walk yet, she love going out. Usually outing would make her happy but tiring. She likes meeting with new people. She enjoys looking at new things and not afraid of it. She was attending technokid program and hydrotherapy. She loves being in the water because its make her muscles relax.



When she about one year old at home. She can sit with support. She likes sitting position and tries hard to hold her head. She clenched her fingers most of the time and crossed her legs when she is not happy.



This photo was takan few days after she was born in the hospital.

Wednesday, 18 July 2007

Haya

Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim
Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket


The
Prophet
Sall-Allahu
alayhi
wasalam
said:
"If
you
have
lost
Haya
then
do
whatever
you
feel
like!"

Sunday, 15 July 2007

Shaykh Abu Bakr Shatry - Surah Infitar

Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim
Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu






82 AL-Infitar 19 verses The Cleaving سورة الإنفطار

1 إِذَا السَّمَاءُ انفَطَرَتْ
1 When the heaven is cleft asunder.

2 وَإِذَا الْكَوَاكِبُ انتَثَرَتْ
2 And when the stars have fallen and scattered;

3 وَإِذَا الْبِحَارُ فُجِّرَتْ
3 And when the seas are burst forth (got dried up);

4 وَإِذَا الْقُبُورُ بُعْثِرَتْ
4 And when the graves are turned upside down (and they bring out their contents)

5 عَلِمَتْ نَفْسٌ مَّا قَدَّمَتْ وَأَخَّرَتْ
5 (Then) a person will know what he has sent forward and (what he has) left behind (of good or bad deeds).

6 يَا أَيُّهَا الْإِنسَانُ مَا غَرَّكَ بِرَبِّكَ الْكَرِيمِ
6 O man! What has made you careless concerning your Lord, the Most Generous?

7 الَّذِي خَلَقَكَ فَسَوَّاكَ فَعَدَلَكَ
7 Who created you, fashioned you perfectly, and gave you due proportion;

8 فِي أَيِّ صُورَةٍ مَّا شَاءَ رَكَّبَكَ
8 In whatever form He willed, He put you together.

9 كَلَّا بَلْ تُكَذِّبُونَ بِالدِّينِ
9 Nay! But you deny the Recompense (reward for good deeds and punishment for evil deeds).

10 وَإِنَّ عَلَيْكُمْ لَحَافِظِينَ
10 But verily, over you (are appointed angels in charge of mankind) to watch you ,

11 كِرَامًا كَاتِبِينَ
11 Kiraman (honourable) Katibeen writing down (your deeds) ,

12 يَعْلَمُونَ مَا تَفْعَلُونَ
12 They know all that you do.

13 إِنَّ الْأَبْرَارَ لَفِي نَعِيمٍ
13 Verily, the Abrar (pious and righteous) will be in delight (Paradise);

14 وَإِنَّ الْفُجَّارَ لَفِي جَحِيمٍ
14 And verily, the Fujjar (the wicked, disbelievers, sinners and evil-doers) will be in the blazing Fire (Hell),

15 يَصْلَوْنَهَا يَوْمَ الدِّينِ
15 In which they will enter, and taste its burning flame on the Day of Recompense,

16 وَمَا هُمْ عَنْهَا بِغَائِبِينَ
16 And they (Al-Fujjar) will not be absent therefrom (i.e. will not go out from the Hell).

17 وَمَا أَدْرَاكَ مَا يَوْمُ الدِّينِ
17 And what will make you know what the Day of Recompense is?

18 ثُمَّ مَا أَدْرَاكَ مَا يَوْمُ الدِّينِ
18 Again, what will make you know what the Day of Recompense is?

19 يَوْمَ لَا تَمْلِكُ نَفْسٌ لِّنَفْسٍ شَيْئًا وَالْأَمْرُ يَوْمَئِذٍ لِلَّهِ
19 (It will be) the Day when no person shall have power (to do) anything for another, and the Decision, that Day, will be (wholly) with Allah.

Saturday, 14 July 2007

Tiger Airways refuses to board disabled passenger

Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim
Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu

News.com.au

By Flora Liveris

December 11, 2006 12:00am
Article from: Northern Territory News

A NORTHERN Territory family's dream holiday has been left in tatters after not being allowed to board a Tiger Airways flight from Darwin to Singapore because their daughter is disabled.

Savvas and Irini Maillis were taking their four children on a month-long holiday to Greece, but could not board the Tiger Airways flight on Saturday.

They have now lost about $15,000 in airfares, transfers and accommodation.

Their daughter Artemis said the family got special permission to board the budget airline flight with her disabled sister, but as they were about to board the plane they were told they could not go on.

"We weren't allowed to board the flight,'' Artemis, 24, said.

"We had checked in and were told not to expect any help from the staff, but we said that was ok.

"We went through customs and were all ready to board the plane and then a man stopped us and said we couldn't go on.

"We told him that we had special permission from Tiger Airways in Singapore, and he said even if we did have the ok from the airline, the captain does whatever he likes.

"If we knew that we weren't allowed to travel we would have made other arrangements - now we've lost $15,000.''

The family had their travel agent contact Tiger Airways in Singapore in September and write a letter confirming that Anastasia could board the flight.

The letter says: "I spoke to Sarah from the Tiger Air office in Singapore ... who stated that providing Anastasia has assistance from the people that she is travelling with and does not require assistance from Tiger Air personnel she will be fine to travel on board the flight.''

Artemis said the airport staff made the family demonstrate that Anastasia could walk in front of all the passengers.

"The man said, 'why don't you leave your sister here and you all still go','' Artemis said.

"We asked to talk to the captain, but he didn't even come out - he didn't even see my sister.

"The man then asked what's wrong with my sister ... she has been crying all weekend, just because she can't talk, doesn't mean that she doesn't understand.

"They accept wheelchairs on the plane, but they don't accept the people.

"They treated us like garbage, like we were clowns.''

The Maillis' were told by Tiger Airways that they could not get a, refund and if they wanted their money back they would have to go to court.

A Tiger Airways spokesperson in Singapore said last night it was "unfortunate'' and would investigate the matter further.

"The truth is at this point our planes are not wheelchair friendly,'' she said.

The spokesperson then added: "We do have a policy that if the passengers themselves can actively assist the disabled person on to the plane and everything is sorted out, it is up to the travellers, that's our policy.''

Monday, 9 July 2007

Our Future

Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim
Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu

We tend to plan for our future everyday
Desperately we try to pave the way
We save every little bit of money we can find
And to the people who help us achieve we are kind

If there is something we want enough we're willing to fight
For a future filled with happiness that is Oh so bright
It is unfortunate though, to fill one's heart with sorrow
But remember dear Muslims - our future is not tomorrow

It is not money or fame that will get us ahead
But the number of times we worshipAllah before bed
This is what will make our future unimaginably great
So let us wake up and take control of our Fate.

Tomorrow is not the future we should be planning for
But the Day we will be standing before Allah's door
The Day when we will be reminded of every last deed
Like the day we forgot the poor because of our greed.

And what dear Muslim shall you say
When Allah asks you why you didn't pray?
So let us pray, worship and keep the poor fed
For our Future begins once we are all dead


Taken from Sparkly Water

Saturday, 7 July 2007

Special Needs on Homeopathic Medicines

Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim
Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu




Today M is seeing Kate for her homeopathic treatment. She has been to the homeopathic education center since she was 9 months old.

This time she is on Syphilinum CM monthly. Pains from darkness to daylight; decrease and increase gradually, fears the night, and the suffering from exhaustion on awakening. Excessive flow of saliva; it runs out of mouth when sleeping.

Every week, she is taking Mercurius Sulphuricus 1M. Intense dyspnoea; must sit up. Respiration rapid, short; burning in chest and burning in anus.

She is also on Nitricum Acidum 200 every week. Fissures, with pain during stool, as if rectum were torn. All discharges very offensive, especially urine, faeces, and perspiration.

I just realised that she has more spasm lately. Maybe because the botox wear off. Daily she is using Cuprum Metallicum 30 for her spasm . Spasmodic affections, cramps, convulsions, beginning in fingers and toes, violent, contractive, and intermitting pain, are some of the more marked expressions of the action of Cuprum Metallicum; and its curative range therefore includes tonic and clonic spasms, convulsions, and epileptic attacks. Chorea brought on by fright. Nausea greater than in any other remedy. In epilepsy, aura begins at knees, ascends to hypogastrium; then unconsciousness, foaming, and falling. Symptoms disposed to appear periodically and in groups.

On daily also she is having Ignitia 6 for her spasm. Produces a marked hyperaesthenia of all the senses, and a tendency to clonic spasms. Mentally, The emotional element is uppermost, and co-ordination of function is interfered with. Hence, it is one of the chief remedies for hysteria. It is especially adapted to the nervous temperament - women of sensitive, easily excited nature, dark, mild disposition, quick to perceive, rapid in execution. Rapid change of mental and physical condition, opposite to each other.

Alhamdulillah she has 15 teeth now. For her teething she is taking Kreosotum 200. Very painful dentition; child will not sleep.

Friday, 6 July 2007

Happy Holiday

Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim
Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu

Alhamdulillah, today is the girls last day of homeschooling for this term. Insha Allah they deserved holiday for their hard worked. Alhamdulillah they are independent learner and did their work at their own pace but managed to finished this term works successfully. I am also relieved after received the confirmation of our home education for this year from the department of education.

Insha Allah, during the holiday they will be doing a lot of activities we have been planning. It's going to be a busy holiday but I am really looking forward and would like to spend more quality time with them doing lots of fun stuffs.

Special Jazak Allah Khairan to sister H for her patience and doing fantastic work of teaching the Qur'an to my girls. Jazak Allah Khairan also to S for doing my job easier by tutoring my girls. Masha Allah you are their great motivator and has inspired them to enjoy and love learning.

Jazak Allah Khairan also to A, F, A and D for being supportive friends to my girls and trying hard to gain beneficial knowledges and strengthen their iman by carefully select the friends they want to be with.

My special gratitude go to the mothers who are home educating their children especially W and R because you all are my inspiration and motivator that with Allah helps, we can do our best to educate our children.

Thursday, 5 July 2007

How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem

Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem
Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu

(Al-Kahf 18:13-14)
"We relate to thee their story in truth: they were youths who believed in their Lord, and We advanced them in guidance: We gave strength to their hearts: Behold, they stood up and said: "Our Lord is the Lord of the heavens and of the earth: never shall we call upon any god other than Him: if we did, we should indeed have uttered an enormity!"

Muslim Youths' Life's Challenges
How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem
By Latiefah Achmat

It is hard to be good, kind, and tolerant when you feel bad about yourself. It is so much better to face life with a positive attitude, but how can you do that if you feel negative? Can you imagine a happy, self-confident, positive person being violent? No! So the importance of having good self-esteem is very clear. But how can you improve your self-esteem?

First of all, tell yourself “I like you.” Look in the mirror and say this. Keep doing this until you believe yourself, but make sure you do it when you are thinking good things and have been behaving nicely in the recent past.


Believe in yourself; that whatever challenge you face you can deal with, with Allaah Subhaanahu wa Ta`aala's help. Do not talk negatively to yourself. Don’t use words like “you are stupid,” “Why did you do that,” and so on.


A friend of mine used to tell me that if I do not talk well about myself, who else will? People will evaluate me like I evaluate myself. Keep the following points in mind:


Do Not Isolate Yourself
Perhaps you tend to be a loner and prefer to keep away from the crowd. If you do it too much, this can leave you open to negative thoughts and feelings and you will find no one to bounce these thoughts and feelings off. When you talk about things to friends and family, it helps to put things into context and perspective. If you keep something to yourself, you often perceive it as bigger and more complicated than it really is. So keep with the crowd, but make sure it is a good crowd. It takes a brave person to mix with people, especially if you tend to be shy, but try, because it is important for your health and development.
“Verily Shaytaan is the wolf of a man just as the wolf is (the enemy) of the flock. He seizes the solitary sheep going astray from the flock or going aside from the flock. So avoid the branching paths, it is essential for you to remain along with the community.” (Imaam Ahmad)


Keep Good Company
Hang around with friends who encourage you and do not put you down. At the same time, do not be afraid to accept criticism (positive criticism) and do not feel ashamed to acknowledge that you have shortcomings— we all have them. It is a part of life, and what makes life so interesting and challenging is the fact that we can rise above the challenges and the weaknesses within ourselves.


Failing Is a Part of Life
If you happen to fail at something, it does not mean you are weak or bad or stupid. Everyone fails at things from time to time and that is how we learn. My friend told me that her father used to say to her, “If people learn by their mistakes, you should be a genius by now!” Allah tests us on how we handle failure. Do we get back up if life knocks us down? How easily do we give up when the going gets tough? I heard in a film once, Katherine Hepburn said, “The world stands back and makes way for the person who knows where they are going.” Now that person will fail from time to time but will keep going and never give up. That is how we should try to be.
We need to accept that sometimes we will fail. It reminds us of our limitations of being a human being. We might get carried away with this worldly life and we might become arrogant or snobbish, so sometimes Allah lets us fail, to keep us humble and to develop good character in us. Everything is for the good of the believer.


Make Realistic Goals
Set realistic goals for yourself. Do not be ambitious about achieving everything at the same time and then kicking yourself when you are not able to.
Allaah Subhaanahu wa Ta`aala says that He will give us back what we give out to others and this is proven so often in life. You will find that if you are positive and encouraging to other people, most times people will be the same to you. This is very important to developing and maintaining our self-esteem.


The Importance of Good Self-Esteem?
If you do not have good self-esteem—that means feeling good and hopeful about yourself—Satan will take advantage of the situation and feed us with negative thoughts and feelings until we reach for anything that will make us feel better: that can be alcohol, drugs, suicide, or being violent to people. So you see, low self-esteem is a road that leads to nowhere. It leads to destruction and misery for the person and the others around him/her and Shaytaan laughs because he has won another foolish human being and he will not be lonely in the Afterlife; he’ll keep the company of those who followed him and listened to his destructive, evil whisperings.


Do Not Be a Statistic
Make up your mind not to be a statistic. You know the world today keeps records of just about everything we do, when we are born; when we die; who takes drugs; who marries when, where, and who; who dies of a drug overdose; who commits suicide; and who commits crimes and how long they stay in jail. Do not be a statistic in someone’s computer file, of a young person who did not make it through adolescence because they thought negatively about themselves.


Everyone Has Potential
Every human being is born with great potential, with deep, unfathomable insight, but few unfortunately achieve their true potential. Why? Because they give up too soon and too easily because they do not realize they have this potential; or they listen to people tell them they are useless, lazy, or whatever, and so hide their heads in the sands of life like ostriches. Life passes these people by and they live their lives as failures and die as failures. This may seem a sad and depressing note in this article, however, I write it because I know for sure that it is easy to be a failure and it is also easy to be a success. It does not take a lot of time and energy to talk to yourself so negatively that you actually believe yourself, but if you simply choose to look at life from a positive angle and believe in yourself, trust in Allaah Subhaanahu wa Ta`aala, and follow His Commands, you will find that the tables will turn and you will succeed.


It is up to you to take the first step!

Latiefa Achmat is an Islamic counselor and social worker in Cape Town , South Africa . She can be contacted at youth_campaign@iolteam.com.

http://www.islamonline.net/English/In_Depth/volunteers/2005/06/09.shtml

Wednesday, 4 July 2007

Scrapbooking for My Mother.

Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim
Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu



"Our Lord! Forgive me and my parents, and (all) the believers on the Day when the reckoning will be established."
( سورة إبراهيم , Ibrahim, Chapter #14, Verse #41)



I would like to talk about my beloved mother. Recently I made a very beautiful but simple scrapbook for my mother. I search for poems that I like and also has a special message that I want to tell my mother but, I was too shy to put it into words to her.



In that scrapbook I put our family, my father and mother, my siblings and my parents grandchildren photos in. Next to each photos I included poems and an article that related to the photos. It took me a week finding the poems, the whole morning shopping for the scrapbooking kit and printing the photos and an afternoon arranging the photos and poems in that scrapbook. I really enjoyed making it and my daughters were also helping me. My husband was impressed with it. Alhamdulillah I was very satisfied with it because it was something I made with all my love to gift it to my mother.

The day I gave it to my mother, you should see her happiness. I think she really love it and kept looking at it. My father also enjoy looking at it. I think it bring back memories and the feeling of abundants for having such a wonderful family.



I ask Allah to help me to be dutiful and good to my mother while we are still live in this world which will not be long.

I love my mother very much. I hope Allah loves her too. I pray to Him that He will give me a lots of opportunities to do good deeds to her. May Allah forgive her , have mercy on her and guide her to the straight path, keep her iman strong and make her die in Islam.



"My Lord! Forgive me, and my parents, and him who enters my home as a believer, and all the believing men and women. And to the Zalimoon (polytheists, wrong-doers, and disbelievers, etc.) grant You no increase but destruction!"
( سورة نوح , Nooh, Chapter #71, Verse #28)

Ameen.

Monday, 2 July 2007

How to Acquire Good Manners

Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim
Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu

By Shaikh Muhammad bin Saalih Al-`Uthaimeen

Source: Makaarim-ul- Akhlaaq (pg. 32-35)

[This is a chapter from the book "Makaarim-ul- Akhlaaq" (pg. 32-35) [Dar-ul-Watan Lin-Nashr] By Shaikh Muhammad bin Saalih Al-`Uthaimeen, prepared and arranged by Khaalid Abu Saalih.]

We mentioned previously that good manners can either be present in someone naturally or they can be instilled into him (i.e. through learning). And we stated that inherent good manners are better than acquired good manners. We mentioned a proof for this which was the Messenger of Allaah's (sallAllaahu `alayhi wa sallam) statement to Al-Ashaj bin `Abdil-Qais (radyAllaahu 'anhu): "Rather, Allaah has molded (i.e. created) you upon these two (noble characteristics)." [1]

It is also because good manners that are innate do not disappear from a human being whereas good manners that are acquired may vanish from a person in many instances since it requires constant practice and effort as well as exercise and hard work. It also requires that one be reminded of it whenever there occurs something that affects a human being. This is why when a man once came to the Messenger of Allaah (sallAllaahu `alayhi wa sallam) and said to him: "O Messenger of Allaah, advise me", he (sallAllaahu `alayhi wa sallam) said: "Do not get angry." The man then repeated his request several times, upon which the Prophet continued to reply: "Do not get angry." [2]

The Prophet (sallAllaahu `alayhi wa sallam) also said: "The strong person is not the one who wrestles and overpowers his opponents. Rather the strong person is the one who controls himself in times of anger." [3]

So a strong person is not someone who wrestles with people and overpowers them, He is someone "who controls himself in times of anger." He takes hold of himself and restrains himself during instances when he becomes angry.

A person controlling himself in times of anger is considered a characteristic of good manners. So if you become angry, do not let your anger penetrate, rather seek refuge in Allaah from the accursed Devil. And if you are standing, then sit down. If you are sitting, then lie down. And if your anger increases, then perform ablution (wudoo) until it goes away.

A person may acquire and earn good manners by way of training (himself), working hard at it and through constant practice. So he may obtain good manners through one of the following methods:

First: By contemplating on the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah of His Messenger: One should look up the texts that show the virtue of the particular noble characteristic that he wishes to characterize himself with. This is since when a believer sees some texts that praise a characteristic or action, he implements them. [4]

The Prophet (sallAllaahu `alayhi wa sallam) indicated this when he said: "The example of a good companion and an evil companion is like that of a seller of musk and a blacksmith. The seller of musk either sells you (perfume), gives you free samples or you get a pleasing smell from him. As for the example of an evil companion – such as a blacksmith – he either burns your clothes or you get a nasty smell from him." [5]

Second: He should accompany those who are known for having good manners whilst staying far away from those who possess bad manners and poor actions. This is such that he turns this companionship of his into an educational institute that assists him in (his goal of) obtaining good manners. The Prophet (sallAllaahu `alayhi wa sallam) said: "A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let each of you look into whom he takes as a close friend." [6]

Third: He should reflect on the consequences that come as a result of having bad manners. This is since a person with bad manners is despised. A person with bad manners is forsaken. A person with bad manners is always talked about in a bad way. So when one comes to realize that bad manners will lead him to all of this, he will then keep away from it.

Fourth: He should always envision an image of the Prophet’s (sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) manners and how he (sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) would humble himself before the creation, being kind to them, forgiving to them and patient with their harm. So if a person visualizes the Prophet’s character and the fact that he was the best of mankind and the greatest of those who worshipped Allaah, he will then perceive a low image of himself and at this point the influence that arrogance has over him will be shattered and this will cause him to have good manners.

Footnotes:

[1] Reported by Abu Dawood (no. 5335), Ahmad in al-Musnad (4/206), Muslim with only the first part of it (no. 25 & 26), and At-Tirmidhee (no. 2011)

[2] Reported by Al-Bukhaaree (no. 6116) and At-Tirmidhee (no. 2020)

[3] Reported by Al-Bukhaaree (no. 6114) and Muslim (no. 107)

[4] Purification (of the soul) cannot be achieved except by way of the messengers as stated by Ibn Al-Qayyim when he said: "Purifying the souls is harder and more difficult than curing the bodies. So whoever purifies his soul through exercise, hard work and being in isolation – all of which the messengers did not come with – he is like a sick person that tries to cure himself based on his own opinion. Where is his opinion with respect to the expertise of a doctor?! The messengers are the doctors of the hearts – there is no way to purify and rectify the hearts except through their way, at their hands and by totally submitting and complying with them. And we ask Allaah for His assistance!" [Madaarij-us- Saalikeen (2/300)]

[5] Reported by Al-Bukhaaree (no. 2101 & 5534) and Muslim (no. 146); An-Nawawee said: "This shows the virtue of accompanying righteous and good people – those who possess chivalry, good manners, piety, knowledge, and good behavior. It also shows the prohibition of accompanying evil people, innovators, and those who backbite people or who are very wicked and so on, i.e. other types of condemnable characteristics. " [See Sharh Saheeh Muslim: (16/394)]

[6] Reported by At-Tirmidhee (no. 2378) who said it was hasan saheeh, Abu Dawood (no. 4833), Ahmad in al-Musnad (2/303, 334) and deemed hasan (sound) by Al-Albaanee in Saheeh-ul-Jaami' as-Sagheer (no. 3545) and Silsilat-ul- Ahaadeeth as-Saheehah (no. 927).

Published By Al-Ibaanah.com on: February 27, 2007