In the name of Allah; the entirely merciful; the especially merciful - بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَـٰنِ الرَّحِيمِ

Sunday, 15 May 2011

The feeling of losing her

I was surely overwhelming when I heard about Mujhee in the phone.

"Mujhe can't breath. We are calling an ambulance," said the nurse at her school.

"Do you want me to come to school now or straight to the hospital?" I asked her. My mind shut down. The sudden fear prevent me from thinking. I didn't even know what to ask or say. I was just worried that something bad is going to happen to her. I tried to stay calm by saying dhikr.

"Go to the hospital," She told me.

Abah, Fanna and me went to the PMH hospital in a hurry. It was Friday. Abah was thinking about his Friday prayer and his work after prayer. When I told him that it was our daughter's life and death at hand, he quickly rushed to the hospital. I can't blame him for being insensitive about this. I think he is immune to it. The hospital and pain have become normal to him.

When we arrived at the hospital, she wasn't there yet. Soon after that I saw an ambulance enter. I moved quickly towards it. When the paramedic open the door I saw one happy girl smiling back at me. Alhamdulillah. I was released. Eventhough she looked perfectly fine, they took her into the emergency ward to do further assessment.

Before I went in, I talked to Mujhee's EA who came with her about what happen at school. When I sit next to her on the hospital bed I can smell poop. I looked into her nappy and  saw one hard and dry poop with the size of a tenis ball. Ouch! I was wondering maybe if she was having a hard bowel movement until she was struggling to breath.

The doctor susspected that she was choking. I doubt it because she couldn't move her hand to her mouth. She also doesn't take food orally. Alhamdulillah after all the examine and x-ray she is ok.

I was so close to the feeling of losing her but I am grateful for what I learnt from it.

Therefore remember Me (by praying, glorifying), I will remember you, and be grateful to Me (for My countless Favours on you) and never be ungrateful to Me.
( سورة البقرة , Al-Baqara, Chapter #2, Verse #152)

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